Drinking the Sugar Free, Low Carb Koolaid

I’m going to be talking about dieting, probably a lot because I still miss cake and ice cream a lot. Oh and soda. And fruit juice…. a lot. I’d typically drink a glass or two before the show just to lubricate me enough to be relaxed and funny. You can definitely hear a difference on this week’s show (you can also hear me chugging water a few times). Back to what I was saying before I was derailed by wine. If you don’t like the idea of high fat, medium protein, low carb diets then just leave. Haters gonna hate but I won’t tolerate! (Is that a thing, did I just copy that? Eh, it’s kinda close to that brony saying, oh well I still like MLP:FiM)

So we started a ketogenic diet on Tuesday (6/24). The first day we were like “fuck, bread.” The second day we were sleepy. The third day we were anxious. Today, we’re bored.

I’ll break it down a little bit. Right now we’re eating 72% of our calories from fat. Not fake fat. Real, pure fats.

source: http://lentilbreakdown.blogspot.com/ who completely understands my love of butter

source: http://lentilbreakdown.blogspot.com/ who completely understands my love of butter

Awww yisssssss. Butter. Basically fats and carbohydrates are proportional. You gotta eat. You lower your carbs, you’ve got to eat more fats to feel full. The difference is when I eat fats my head is in less of a fog. Carbohydrates make my sleepy. I love that full, half-coma semi-high feeling; I really do. But feeling like I can finally think and being less stressed about life in general because I’m not running myself to the edge of the cliff is way better.

I killed myself for 2 weeks on a 1400 calorie diet recently. I cheated for 1 day and gained 3 lbs. I day of cheating made me gain back everything I had lost after 2 measured, depression inducing weeks. I’d pretty much resigned myself to just being fat. Fuck it. It’s not worth it and if I feel healthy, that’s going to have to be good enough. Thing is, I didn’t feel healthy. Yes, I could still play with the kids, walk, and function. But I wasn’t really happy about how big I was or how tired I was all the time.

My friends had been on keto, I didn’t really see a big change. Then his brother showed up, we hadn’t seen him for a few months and he had been on keto as well. Yikes. Lots of weight loss. And he wasn’t exactly suffering in the food department. Alright, fuck it. Let’s research.

So I did. A lot. I didn’t really understand what it was really saying. I’ll attribute that to the fact that I have little to no medical background and hardly any chemistry left from high school. But I had seen results. I read reddit, I read atkins forums, I read anything and everything even tweets from people who hadn’t even been on the diet but had heard great things. I finally found a few meal plans that seemed right and that’s what we went on. I spent a metric crapton of money on groceries (more than I usually do for a whole month) mainly because carbs are cheap. They’re subsidized by the government for Christ’s sake. Of course I knew there was going to be an initial investment for sweeteners and fats and stuff like that, that was to be expected but I really didn’t think they’d be so much more expensive than the other stuff.

You can spend $14.95 on Amazon to get 48 oz of Crisco All Vegetable Shortening. You could also spend $29.76 to get the same amount of Coconut Oil (I did the per ounce price because the nearest size was 54oz). That’s just the oil!

We’ve eaten a lot of food. There have been a few moments when we were hungry. So we ate pepperoni. It’s 0 carbs, it’s chewy and flavorful. We were still wanting all the stuff that’s still in the house for the kids but we haven’t slipped up just yet. Except for when Ben stuffed a hard candy in his mouth without thinking and then spit it out. I’m going to say that was like 2g of carbs 😛

The vertigo has been bad in the mornings, but I’m blaming that on the coffee with heavy whipping cream and all the extra salt. Caffeine has always been a trigger for me. The vertigo wasn’t too bad for the past few months because I’d been drinking tea pretty exclusively.

I miss you little guy. You're still my best friend!

I miss you little guy. You’re still my best friend! (Ignore the dirty dishes, it’s an old picture)

I may end switching out to tea once I can find out if the tea I like has carbs (because there is fruit in it, but I’m not eating it).

In the meanwhile, I’m losing inches. Without losing a whole lot of pounds at the moment, Aunt Irma is in town so it’s be expected. I’ve lots 2 inches on my waist, 4 on my underbust, 1 on my hips and 1.5 on my neck. I’m definitely fitting into older clothes better, though I’m still not down by a dress size. We’re not sleepy during the day and we’re getting more quality rest. This is awesome.

P.S. I have a near gallon of fresh fruit sangria in my fridge that is REALLY mad at me. Seeking a good home? It’s been soaking since last Saturday.

Real Estate Search Day 1100ish

We’ve now been house hunting for more than 3 years.

I could go on a pernicious and vile rant about how house flippers are on par with major corporations in terms of evil done to communities and low income families.

Frankly, I’m just tired of it. If it’s got 4 walls and isn’t falling down I’m ready to see the house.

This is what giving up looks like.

Journal: Diagnosis Miserable

This post is rant-y, angry, and purely to vent my rage at my body. Feel free to ignore it if you’re not into reading it accordingly. I’d remind you that this has never really been a gaming-exclusive blog, but that’s pretty obvious already.
I have meinere’s disease. I had never heard of this previously and to my recollection, I didn’t know anyone who had it. I’ve seen a figure that over the course of your life you have a .05% chance of getting it. Pretty rare compared to things like cancer or infections. Doesn’t mean it’s any less debilitating for you and your family. After the last GW2BWE I was exhausted. I hadn’t marathon’d with both kids at all. Monday I was slowly getting them back into the rhythm and we recorded Guild Wars Reporter. I was already feeling not great and you could hear it in my terse responses and attitude. Tuesday was better. While cooking dinner I was lightheaded and shaking with what I thought was just hunger. I realized after dinner that I hadn’t had any coffee and just attributed the whole thing to caffeine withdrawal. The next day I was puking up everything and could barely walk. A local clinic said it was gastroenteritis and it’ll pass in a few days. Keep hydrated, blah blah.
Tomorrow that will be two weeks ago.
I’ve been to the ER since then, lost at least 15 pounds, and been out of bed maybe once a day.
My daughter innocently tried to murder me while I was sipping from a water bottle. The adrenaline and energy used to get the water out of my lungs left me practically catatonic for nearly an hour. Not a good thing when you’re home alone, with small children, and unable to walk without assistance. Thankfully one of Ben’s cousins is staying in the spare bedroom and will be watching the kids for the next two weeks. I’m depressed, bored, lonely and miserable. I miss my children when they’re out of eyesight. I want with every fiber to get up and go be with them. I’m slowly adapting to our new normal. I’m so proud of Ben for taking the abuse and keeping it together when we’re both scared out of our minds. I’m angry and stuck in a broken body thanks to my ear.
Did not see this coming.
My brother had a similar thing happen and it only took 6 months for him to get better. Missing 6 months with my children? I think I will actually go insane.
Here’s to hoping I’ll be better soon.
Also, this was all typed on my phone and I don’t really have a way to proofread it. Sorry.

Journal: Honeybun’s first ear infection

Warning: This post will talk about baby poop. Read at your own discretion.

Honeybun has had a raging cold for so far 12 days. Took her the doctor on Thursday only to find out that she apparently has had an ear infection this whole time. The first few days she was sick she was stuck at the intersection of diarrhea and snot running. By the ninth day, the day we went to the doctor, she was finally back to a normal routine as far as diapering. Then we started Cefdinir for the infection. She now is pooping 5 times a day and after only two days she looked awful. Poor thing was clown nose red ALL over the lady regions. Petroleum jelly and warm water didn’t seem to help too much. I told myself after we picked up Benj from work that I’d pull out the high strength buttpaste sample if she was still red in the morning. Not needed. I had read and Ben had also suggested seeing if the cloth diapers I used with Pops would be better for her bum. Last night I put a little more jelly and cloth diapers. She was a normal baby! Laughing, jumping, playing! The only problem with this solution means I’ll be going to the laundromat every two days to wash my entire stash of diapers. Wet bagging will begin this evening >.< I’m just amazed these diapers even fit her. I mean, she’s 21lbs. Although that means that she’s only gained one pound since she was 6 months old. Incredible what happens once they’re crawling!

After dealing with cloth diapers all night it seems like the diaper rash is almost completely gone. I wouldn’t have suspected this to work but it certainly did to my surprise. I *know* that it’s cheaper in the long run, but crap. Laundry all the time. The chore I dislike most. Well, no, I hate folding; Folding the laundry after washing and drying all the laundry is what I dislike. Doing laundry is easy enough.